Beauty and the Beast

Twitter birthday wishes from Brown to Ri-Ri

“Happy Birthday Robyn!” although this may seem like a simple pleasantry, this tweet from Chris Brown to Rihanna is more than a well meaning birthday wish-it is a statement. “We have moved on, we are friends,” it declares.

So with rumours circulating about their imminent reunion, questions must be asked. Could – or rather should – it happen?

Personally I don’t think so. Rihanna may have forgiven him publically, an invite to her Valentine’s Day birthday party is enough proof of this, but can she ever forget? And even if she could, Brown would have to leave his current long term girlfriend before this could ever happen – at least one would hope so.

But even if all of this could happen, should it?

‘Rude Girl’ Rihanna looking worse for wear.

The memories of the beating are hard to shake and images such as the one on the right serve only to rekindle the revulsion we all felt upon hearing the news.

No-one likes to see pain be inflicted, and Brown deserves all the stick he gets from fans and critics, he served his jail time and will be branded a villain as long as he lives, and Rihanna must surely realise that association with him will not only affect her own standing with critics but set back any progress in ‘girl power’ that her own successes will have shaped. But the issue runs deeper than this.

I know that the strains that both families must be feeling have never been greater. It feels like a terrible injustice to us fans, so how must those closest to her feel? It’s a simple matter of taste.

That being said, who am I to comment?

The fact is that the levels abuse Rihanna received were shocking and if she can forgive and forget no one else has the right to complain. If she wants to get back with Brown then it is her choice and hers alone.

Either way the pair will be dominating blogs and headlines for as long as they are friends and as long as this persists album sales will continue to soar. Not that I’m implying anything of course…

Dougie Handford

An album to die for?

‘Adele performing “Rolling in the Deep”‘

Apparently, Adele has sold one of her two albums, ‘19’ and her latest debacle of life ‘21’, every seven seconds since this time last year.

Don’t get me wrong, she’s a very talented individual. Only problem is.. what exactly is the problem, Adele? Is it even possible for someone to have such an unfortunate life?

The fact that she has allegedly sold one album every SEVEN seconds since The BRIT awards (which shall be referred to as the SH*T awards in this piece) is ridiculous. I’d like to think that the general public are warming towards real talent – but then I turned on Radio 1. She’s at it again, bailing down the microphone about how her mate’s dad’s dog decided to leave her for a cat. Something along the lines.

   

Adele’s debut album, ’19′

The song ‘Someone Like You’ is going to haunt my dreams for the rest of my life. Every time I hear it, I feel like going up to blokes who happen to be with their girlfriends at the time, to politely remind them of the consequences of ending their relationships – ultimately, concluding with a lifetime of torment, courtesy of Adele and her mysterious ways.  I am aware that this song is about her relationship with a 30-year old man, who she thought she would marry. I also believe she was 21 at the time (wonder what gave that away). How naive can you be?!

This particular song has become the keyboard equivalent of ‘Stairway To Heaven’, according to some music stores. Everyone thinks they can play it. I agree. It is painful to hear. You know when you hear a song far too much, thanks to the mind numbingly boring Greg James and his army of uneducated delinquents on Radio 1, and you basically think about killing yourself?

Her albums have sold 6 million copies – well, by now, this number will have increased by 86 because I’ve been writing for ten minutes, but that’s not the point. ‘21’ has been rated alongside classics such as: Brothers in Arms, Thriller, and Sgt. Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band. If these albums were released today, Adele would still be the King (or Queen) of

the castle. I don’t think the previous three albums deal with issues such as realising somebody hates you on a regular basis, but this is something the public love to listen to, by the ‘sound’ of things.

Adele has a lot of talent, it is clear to see. But I’d love to see her cheer up just a little bit! Maybe she can put a smile on her face in time for the SH*T awards. At least someone with a genuine talent will be performing. It’s just a shame that it’s all too repetitive; the same topic of misfortune and grief over and over again. It must be working though, because 6 million and 172*album sales certainly don’t lie.

*figure apparently correct at time of writing.

Jack Gibbard

Simon’s Oxygen ‘Cowl’

I suppose it is quite easy to say something spiteful about a music mogul whose made millions.

But when it comes to Simon Cowell it seems to be the little things that get to me. It’s not so much the fact that year after year he farms out acts like battery hens hatching eggs, no it’s not that at all that’s completely kosher. . . .

But it’s the fact that he relentlessly quests to find some kind of substitute for the Philospher’s Stone, eternal youth, whatever you want to call it.

His latest fad is taking regular ‘blasts’ of pure oxygen, he is so hooked on the stuff he carries a can wherever he goes to apparently cope with stress?! Well excuse me, it must be very stressful having all that money and telling people they are fat and can’t sing, but if it gets too much I’m sitting in the wings.

Maybe it’s due to the fact that he is god awful and hopeless with women that drives him to try and look ten years younger. Let’s face facts that half naked woman dressed in palm leaves that wanders about his house is the closest thing he’s ever had to normal? Poor guy. But wait! Recently he got engaged to a make-up artist, yet the Velcro-haired, vitamin injecting, botox using, half camped voice and slightly flabby millionaire was not appealing enough!? I mean come on ladies give him a break.

Sam Hiner